"He wrote love on her arm just to make her stay
Fed her with lies but she was far too gone for her to live that way
Then she found herself at his front door
With the ink stained heart and a bottle of jack giving her the confidence to talk
He opened the door, he sees her tears
Tries to hear her whispers
The ink sunk down all the way to the core of her heart
His big brown eyes stare right into her soul
His white ghost faces says nothing at all
A woman in his shirt that she once wore stood at his front door
She says come back to bed, looks at her and says
Don’t bother us hear at all
She took one look at her then disappeared”
- Written by me, unfaithful1013
Toxicity is defined as “acting as or having the effect of a poison.”
That is what the relationship was. Poison. Specifically, eight months of poison. I had to change my friends, my imagine, my morals, my values. Why? Because I was too afraid to leave. Every time I tried, he would grab my hand. Tighter each time. Sinking his claws deep into my vains, sending fear through my blood. I knew it wasn’t love. It was lust that controlled his actions. I knew I could not leave. Not now anyways. I had a plan. I was going to distance myself once he graduated. That way, I would have an excuse. Graduation day came and he beat me to the punch. After commencement, we walked to his car and right as I got in, he told me to get out. He said he doesn’t want me anymore. Without a word, I walked out of the car and watched him drive away. When he did, I felt like a piece of me was leaving with him. I spent almost every day with him. I did not know what it’s like to be without him. I did not know who I am without him. I started to cry. Not because I lost him, but because I lost me. I lost everything. I stood there alone with no friends, no hopes, no faith, no dreams, no me. I was empty.
Sometimes before you know who you are, you have to lose who you are.
I’m just sick of goodbyes.
-Serena van der Woodsen
-Favorite Scene 5x17 Part 1: The Princess Dowry
~ Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower